Connecting Happily (or the Happiness Connection III): Therapy, Confidence, and What Really Helps
The Happiness Connection was a blog I wrote in 2010 and updated it last year 2024 (interestingly in July… is this the season that we have time to pause and reflect?).
Why We’re Still Searching for Happiness
We are still looking for the magic ways to be happy. If you’ve been wondering how to increase life satisfaction, this 2025 NYT article gives a reporter’s takeaways of the best pieces of advice.
Sometimes the best place to start is by noticing what’s already working. Remember my long list of Gratitude questions? Ask me for my list of gratitude journaling questions to generate gratitude and let’s see if that helps generate any more clarity on what is going on (and what is going right!). They’re not magic, but they do help shift your lens. You might surprise yourself.
How to Increase Life Satisfaction Through Therapy and Connection
You can also take some quizzes to measure your life satisfaction—I have a couple of measures. One is a life satisfaction survey to look at your self-awareness, your relationships, and your regulation. Another is actually more for therapists to measure their level of compassion, burnout, and secondary trauma levels (if you were concerned, my scores are pretty healthy!). Ask me for one and I’ll send it!
Confidence-Building Tips That Actually Work
And if you’re not satisfied right now, you’re not alone. I recently talked about this in an interview for Medium and as a guest on a podcast—how we build confidence, how to overcome self-doubt, and how to shape our mindset. These topics are still ever-present and relevant. 
The confidence-building tips I shared were:
Self Awareness
Let Go of All or Nothing
Practice Agency, not Pressure
Cultivate a Growth Mindset
Surround Yourself with Truth-Tellers and Encouragers
What are you already doing and what do you want to work on? Which of those five comes naturally to you, and which one do you resist the most?
The Power of Connection in Healing and Communication
A lot of these tips and suggestions and measures talk about relationships and connections. This is everywhere. My blog is called Connecting Through Therapy—and honestly, I was drawn to that name before I even fully knew how central therapy for connection and relationships would be to everything I do. I’ve seen time and time again: even a single honest, attuned moment between two people can shift something that felt stuck for years.
As a natural extension of this conversation on connection and satisfaction, my next social media segment will be about Addictions. As Johann Hari said, “The opposite of addiction is connection, not sobriety.” How connected are you feeling to others right now?
Ways to improve this are tried and true. Sometimes dialogue needs to start by being intentional. Not only does it keep us present and mindful, but it also enhances our connections and relationships. These three steps are really important for any kind of communication that feels connected (in therapy, in parenting, in marriage, in friendship—any relationship):
Mirroring
Reflect what you’re hearing. (“So you…” or “It sounds like…”)
Validating Without Agreement
You don’t have to agree to validate. (“When I see it from your view, it makes sense.”)
Curiosity Over Problem-Solving
Resist the urge to fix. Let your response land gently. (“That sounds hard.” or “How are you handling all of that?”)
You don’t have to figure it all out. You just have to stay curious enough to keep going.
And when all of this is too hard, we are here to make it easier.
If you’re looking for support and you’re in the Chicago area or virtually online, Ellen, David and I would be honored to connect.
Warmly,
Lynn
